Today is the start of a long project: Haiku dealing with the Cthulhu Mythos. The first Haiku in the project is inspired by The Call of Cthulhu itself.
The Finnish are insane, literally… I mean, the amount of awesome metal bands they spawn, Iron Sky and now, the Cthulhu Ipsum generator. Yes, you read that right, someone in Finland has written a program that generates Cthulhu Mythos texts/chants in Cthulhu’s own language, like this:
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Grah’n hlirgh, ngR’lyeh lw’nafh uaaah y’hahagl ya ilyaa n’ghft kadishtu, shugg Cthulhu wgah’n syha’h sll’ha tharanak.
Gotha ep gnaiih y-kadishtu vulgtm uln ctharanak n’ghft naftaghu Nyarlathotep y-shagg phlegeth ch’ li’hee ‘bthnkor, sll’ha r’luh lloig Shub-Niggurath sgn’wahl zhro wgah’n n’gha shugg ‘fhalma nglui nafluaaah.
H’Tsathoggua nilgh’ri uln ckadishtu Cthulhu phlegeth mnahn’ uh’e stell’bsna, nnnee nailyaa cron syha’h hai ron lw’nafh, Cthulhu li’hee y-nw h’shagg Shub-Niggurath sll’ha vulgtm.
Uh’e gof’nn ah Tsathoggua nog ron nog Shub-Niggurath gof’nn, Dagon k’yarnak vulgtm fhtagn f’hai k’yarnak ehye athg r’luh, Chaugnar Faugn Shub-Niggurath goka uaaahnyth ph’Tsathoggua ngsll’ha Hastur.
Y-ilyaa shugg phlegeth chtenff nog ‘bthnk athg Yoggoth, syha’h hrii ngorr’e vulgtm hlirgh Tsathogguaoth, orr’e ee hai shugg stell’bsna shogg.
Y-mg naflChaugnar Faugn ya wgah’n ph’Yoggoth ronnyth mnahn’ Nyarlathotep nghlirgh uh’e, nawgah’n ch’ li’hee ebunma fm’latgh llll shugg tharanak yaor, ebunma nnnhupadgh ehye ‘bthnknyth hafh’drn nnnya nnnHastur y-nw.
Gotha mg ph’chtenff ep geb ftaghu ‘bthnk nilgh’ri cr’luh, hlirghog llll uaaah nnnphlegeth ‘ai h’ep Hastur, Dagon ch’yar Shub-Niggurath hrii Azathothnyth shagg ep.
Hafh’drn nnnchtenff zhroagl f’nilgh’ri n’ghft nnnChaugnar Faugn uh’e nghupadgh shugg, phlegethor Hastur nnnshagg h’uaaah stell’bsnaor ‘ai gof’nn, lloig shugg chtenff k’yarnak hupadghnyth ‘bthnkyar sgn’wahl.
Shtunggli shogg Cthulhu orr’e stell’bsna syha’h ftaghu orr’eoth fm’latgh k’yarnak ilyaa k’yarnak, shagg orr’e h’uaaah phlegeth n’gha chtenff Azathothoth naflli’hee nilgh’ri cah.
Nnngeb uln k’yarnakyar grah’n shtungglioth fhtagn y’hahnyth, stell’bsna czhro mnahn’ y’hah Hastur fhtagn, nilgh’ri ehye kn’aor cgnaiih chtenff.
Hlirgh Yoggoth nnnnw zhro mgyar gnaiih Shub-Niggurathog tharanak y-llll, fm’latgh shagg Yoggoth y’hah ftaghu ‘ai shogg, sgn’wahl ckn’a vulgtm goka vulgtlagln sgn’wahl nnnthrod.
Ph’ya nghupadgh k’yarnakog y-k’yarnak Cthulhu nog hafh’drn, cHastur Chaugnar Faugn phlegeth shtunggli shagg y-chtenff, li’hee syha’h hlirgh shugg h’ya.
N’ghftog syha’hoth s’uhn vulgtlagln gotha gnaiihoth gotha tharanak ooboshu n’ghft, athg ngsll’ha bugagl hriiyar ebunma athg R’lyeh fhtagnog fhtagn, n’gha nahai gnaiihor goka Yoggoth nauh’e vulgtm k’yarnak.
‘fhalma lloigagl r’luhyar shagg shogg cnilgh’ri Hastur csgn’wahl gnaiih orr’e zhro y-phlegeth lloigyar, h”fhalma hrii hafh’drn czhro phlegeth n’gha fm’latgh Hastur Dagon h’ftaghu R’lyeh.
Hlirgh Shub-Niggurath nnnhai ron ‘ai Shub-Niggurath hupadgh naflhai uaaah mnahn’ fhtagn ron grah’n, Chaugnar Faugn f’n'ghft ee nnn’bthnk gof’nn Nyarlathotepnyth ‘fhalma Hastur f’Dagon throd.
Nw ‘fhalma hupadghoth stell’bsna nog ‘bthnk Nyarlathotep chtenff kadishtu gof’nn f’sll’ha nnnron, f’y'hah ehye ch’ ya sgn’wahl stell’bsna vulgtm f’shtunggli y-phlegeth chtenff.
Y’hah ph’lw’nafh cCthulhu k’yarnak ebunma ron ph’shugg, shagg ‘bthnk shagg stell’bsna throd, goka y-ilyaa n’ghaagl fhtagn ya.
Ee uln cy’hah syha’h throd, kadishtu nauln chtenff nnnnglui nnnlloig, vulgtlagln gotha Cthulhuagl.
Gnaiihog ya ‘bthnk gotha eeog y-fhtagn hupadghoth s’uhn mg ph’hafh’drn nnn’fhalma r’luhnyth s’uhn, c’fhalma f’Dagon ah orr’e ‘fhalmayar y-chtenff ulnagl ooboshu Shub-Niggurath hai nglui.
F’llll ph’ilyaa hrii wgah’n Dagon hai nnnilyaa h’kadishtu kn’a tharanak sgn’wahlor kn’a Chaugnar Faugn uh’e, ch’ ph’ebunma lloig y’hah Shub-Niggurath Chaugnar Faugn k’yarnak ‘bthnk ‘fhalma f’chtenff ah.
H’geb hai hlirgh Tsathoggua kn’a ilyaa sgn’wahlog shtunggli gnaiih kn’a, Dagon naflee ep ngsll’ha fm’latgh shagg shuggnyth Azathoth, ooboshu bug chtenff hai vulgtlaglnyar nilgh’ri nglui athg.
Phlegeth goka hafh’drn n’gha h’Hastur naron n’gha uaaah mnahn’ nilgh’ri cvulgtlagln, cwgah’n epyar cnilgh’ri nilgh’ri gnaiih shugg phlegeth uaaahoth h’fhtagn.
Llll shugg ee ebunma, nageb tharanak, Cthulhu goka.
Isn’t that great? Ftaghn for sure!
Image (c) Unspeakable Vault of Doom, fair use
A minion of Cthulhu, summoned by something that clearly is a device of Yithian or Old One’s technology has been caught on camera!
Be afraid, mankind, be very afraid!
More cool stuff available here: www.youtube.com/AsapSCIENCE
Today’s haiku concerns the shifting sands of time and what replaces (no pun intended) mythical places ones tech and knowledge advance.
These days, when and if you delve the depths of the internet for Great Cthulhu and other denizens of Lovecraft’s and his successors’ minds, you cannot fail to notice the rift in the depiction and characterisation of Mythos entities.
On one side are the traditionalists, the orthodox followers of the Lovecraftian tradition. They produce works of cosmic horror in various formats, visual, audio, literary works of various form, things I have dabbled in myself.
This is the type of material someone who came into with the Cthulhu Mythos through printed works, the role playing game Call of Cthulhu, or at any time prior to the wide-spread popularity of the internet would expect.
In the past decade, other material has started to appear, and it constitutes a most drastic divergence from the original material, both in appearance and spirit. One might even go so far and call it an aberration, just to throw the word around in best Lovecraftian tradition.
I am talking about the, for lack of a better word, “plushisation” of the Cthulhu Mythos and the application of Mythos elements into entirely new fields.
There are the by now ubiquitous Cthulhu plush toys:
I own several of those myself.
Then, there is the lighthearted take on the Mythos, taken by official Chaosium publications, such as Cthulhu for President (originally started by Chaosium, but has now also acquired a life of its own), and the popular webcomic /printed comic Unspeakable Vault (of Doom).
Also, the highly entertaining card game Munchkin has been offering a hilarious Cthulhu expansion for a few years now. The plush seems to be spreading faster then the original material, like a hippy shoggoth on ‘shrooms.
Additionally, there are by now actually people who think Cthulhu is real in the same way believers of other religions believe their respective gods to be real.
As a starter into this disturbing development, I can offer some original research into the matter I did myself a few years back. It is in German, so you will need a translation tool, but go here to find out more about the Cthulhu Mythos in New Age Occultism.
I leave a discussion of this part (i.e. occultism) out for now, it would simply go beyond the scope of a blog article, but I would like to point out an interesting parallel:
The Great Old Ones and their Minions:
- Insanely powerful alien “Gods” with little regard towards humans and/or life in general
- Completely unfathomable motivations
This take on the Mytos is still around and doing great.
Now a parallel development in modern times:
- The Great Old Ones are plushy and nice
- fun to be around
- make great motifs for all kinds of usefull things
case in point:
Now here comes the interesting parallel:
The Abrahamitic God (viewed with a Christian background):
- Prone to rage
- Does not think twice about wholesale slaughter (Sodom and Gomorrah, the Flood)
- His name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14)
- God is significantly less violent
- Wants you to be saved
- Come into his Kingdom
- i.e. God in the New Testament is more fluffy then he was in the Old Testament.
And while there are still people preaching about the vengeful God in Fire’n Brimstone Sermons, there are others who focus on the loving aspects of God who wants everybody to be saved and come into his kingdom.
Now, I am not equating Cthulhu or the Cthulhu Mythos pantheon with any real-life religion, but I find this parallel fascinating. I speculate Lovecraft genuinely struck a (for lack of a better term) nerve within the human subconscious that triggered a quasi-religious response. In the same way God’s aggression was significantly toned down in the New Testament (with the exception of the trippy and highly disturbing Book of Revelation), newer additions to the Cthulhu Mythos are far less dreadful than the original, to the point of being fluffy.
Another parallel (and this goes for religious symbols in general):
In the same way, people now wear and carry items shaped after or bearing liknesses and symbols of Cthulhu Mythos entities, without knowing, what it is, they also wear religious symbols of various religions, often without knowing what they mean (unless it is taken from their respective religion, and sometimes not even then).
It would require an in-depth study of the phenomenon to find the mechanisms behind both developments and whether this has the same cause or not, or what is going on.
One thing is for sure: So far, no orthodox cultist (i.e follower cosmic horror Cthulhu) has been violent against a heterodox cultist (i.e. follower of plush Cthulhu).
I guess the overlap between the two groups is too great, and it is all about having fun anyway.
Image credit header graphic: skibad (CC) Image credit ski mask: Unknown, floats around on the web, fair use.
Artist Kevin J. Weir is a master of taking historic photographs and turning them into terrifying GIFs.
Case in point:
Clearing away debris after a fire in Bangor, Wales, UK, c. 1910-1915 – Featuring Cthulhu
Satire targeting rival cults has a long tradition among the followers of Great Cthulhu.
From the beloved Chick Tract spoof “Who will be eaten first” to all the material available due to modern technology and the internet.
An example for the latter is the movie Cthulhu’s Witnesses. As you can imagine, the plot is heavily based on the practices of the JW cult concerning proselytising. The uniforms or outfits worn by the faithful cultist are more reminiscent of the LDS church though.
In any case, please take a look at this short outtake, I am sure it will amuse you no end (and invite your Deep One friends, too!)
Thug Notes is one of my favourite entertainment/education channels on Youtube. It offers delightful book reviews, such as the one below, and there is also a philosophy series called 8Bit Philosophy, go and check it out.
But now for today#s feature, a most entertaining, spot-on review and concise summary of H.P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness:
Do not eat the spam produced by the Innsmouth Cannery.
Image Credit: Manzanedo